In Company of Holy Men
Rain, rain and rain… I had never experienced such heavy downpour before. At first, the darkening clouds filled the sky and then raindrops in multitudes descended from the heavens above, as if millions of arrows flew out of the bows of a thousand archers hidden behind the swirling ocean of clouds. The fury unleashed by nature was indeed terrifying and left me bewildered. I found myself standing alone in the midst of a vast green field that stretched to the horizons. As far as I could see neither any shelter nor any living being met my eyes. Finding no hope of protecting myself, I stood there, surrendering to the will of nature as the rain lashed down incessantly on my body washing my entire self. Time lost its significance. Gradually, nature and I mingled and became one – my home, family, friends, even my existence pushed back into oblivion. Sweeping waves of joy engulfed my being and lifted me to the realms far beyond the realm of material senses. When did the rain stop or how I returned home, I have no idea.
Later in life I have confronted reality in all its starkness. But during moments spared from daily routine, a touching melody or a revealing moment in nature often used to bring back memories of that rain-splashed day and my entire being would be immersed in waves of joy. Those were the moments when all that was material and related to senses seemed inert and meaningless. A craving to know what lay beyond the material never left me. July 4th, 1975, Friday is etched in my memory as a day when an experience of the supernatural completely transformed my life. It drove me from mosque to churches, temples to other places of pilgrimage and listen in rapt attention to holy men in an insatiable pursuit of spiritual knowledge. I paid respect to all persons dressed in holy attire, thinking them to be fortunate to have come closer to realization of the divinity. Unfortunately, my basic questions regarding feeling of the imperceptible, true religion and spirituality that haunted me were left unanswered. Almost all, with whom I had an opportunity to discuss, told me to become a disciple of “so & so” holy man or recite the name of my deity. This, according to them was the only way to know the answers. Sometime I asked them how could I be inspired to recite the divine name or what was the means of knowing who would be my guru (spiritual teacher). Many did not take kindly to my question while the response I received from others did not satisfy me. On the other hand my craving increased day by day. During those days a few of us used to meet in Entally (place in the city of Calcutta in India) after office hours almost everyday and discuss religious topics. We never used to miss an opportunity to meet holy men. Persons who took interest in religion and spirituality or those practicing sadhana often participated in our discussions. Such was our motivation and zeal that many came forward to offer their assistance in our efforts. A well-wisher, who tried to present his guru as an avatar, persuaded us to visit him. He believed that if we met him, all our queries would end and we would find our goal.
We waited in trepidation for the great day. We missed no chance to meet our friend to know more about his gurudev. However, we were slightly taken aback at the knowledge that barring the day of diksha (process of initiation as a disciple), our friend could never meet him, let alone discuss and clear his doubts. The reason, which apparently satisfied him, was that his guru had disciples well over 100,000. He had descended to bring all earthly beings to salvation, which he plans to achieve through mass diksha. As such, it would not be possible for him to spare time for holding discussions with us. “But you said you would take us to meet him”. We asked in bewilderment, “Yes”, he said, “ I shall definitely take you. But only for darshana and not for discussions.” We were greatly disappointed. On our friend’s insistence, one day we found ourselves behind at least a thousand people waiting patiently to meet the holy man. The place was teeming with people. It reminded me of my experience in Tirupati (a famous temple in South India). We had to stand in queue all through the night. At dawn we had a glimpse of the deity. Even before a minute had elapsed, the sharp voice of the priest urged us to move on. Others were waiting behind us!
So, we had to remain satisfied with only a glimpse that day. Today, standing in the long queue, the same thoughts came back to me. My friend had said that his guru was an avatar. Was it for this reason that so many obstacles were put on our way? “This is the test,” my friend had said knowingly. “The test of patience.” As we stood there reluctantly to pass the unknown test, one after the other conflicts and queries raised their silent voices in my mind. It was only in recent past that Sri Ramakrishna inspired mankind to treat all beings as Shiva (divinity) and serve them accordingly. Everyone has accepted him as an avatar. Those who have not, pay deep respect to the illumined mind that enlightened the world with the power of truth. It is well known that all people irrespective of caste or creed had an open access to him and found simple answers to their queries. Nowhere is it mentioned that people had to stand in queue for hours to have a mere glimpse of Him! Similar was the case for Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu of Nadia, who personified divine love and mingled with common people. This, I think, is the way of the Avatars. They hide their true identity behind a garb of worldliness spreading out ripples of divine intention that gradually elevate the universal mind and lead mankind to truth, knowledge and divine bliss. Even the chosen few, who are allowed a peep into their true self through inner realization, cannot keep him surrounded and deny access to the common people. Immersed in thought I inched forward and found us close to the holy man. The gurudev was a fine-featured handsome man surrounded by a ring of well-dressed devotees with material contentment written all over them. An irrepressible urge to satisfy myself with a closer darshana overwhelmed me and I stretched forward in an effort to place my queries. But I failed in my attempt to penetrate the ring of devotees and was pushed back roughly. So, the incident met with the same fate as the glimpse darshan at Tirupati. My friend, however, was confident that the glimpse was sufficient to solve all my queries. But in reality, while on one hand the thirst in me showed no sign of abatement, on the other my desire to meet such great men vanished altogether.
Often a thought used to surface in my mind. We, the ordinary mortals are encircled by our propensities- this is natural and due to ignorance. But when I find that many well-known saints and holy men, who have come to this world supposedly to release us from the shackles of ignorance, are themselves surrounded by people steeped in material wantonness, I find no words to console myself. When we realized that it was impossible to meet reputed holy men and satisfy our thirst, we started reading biographies of great men. While the tales of hardship on the way to salvation left us without hope, the supernatural powers achieved by these men filled us with awe. As a result, whenever we came to know of a person with supernatural powers, we used to run to meet him. During this time we had an opportunity to discuss with a famous mystic named Jogiraj. He clearly told us that it was impossible to attain divine realization without denouncing family life. I humbly asked, “Maharaj, isn’t it a fact that even the family is created by divine will? Moreover, if everyone left their family to realize God, the Creation will cease to exist.” Offended, he replied that it was not only he but all great men have told the same thing. “Even Sri Ramakrishna had said that one has to denounce kanchan (money) and kamini (women as a material of desire) to know God”, he said. “You know very well that His body used to shudder at the touch of money. You also may be aware that he used to consider money as equivalent to soil. To show this he had thrown both of them into the river Ganges.” The statement immediately provoked an inner analysis. What justification lay in denouncing one’s wife who is known as the life-partner and calling her a mere material of desire? If I throw away hard-earned money, how can I procure the articles for my daily needs? The words created more confusion and the way to realize God seemed extremely tortuous. Truth and wisdom seemed far away.
Though our experiences with great men, known for their spiritual prowess, often put us in deep despair, we continued in our pursuit relentlessly and spent hours in discussion. The glimpse darshana of holy men of repute failed to provide any acceptable answer to our queries. Moreover, those with whom we had an opportunity to interact took away any interest to meet them again. Meanwhile, a colleague took us to visit a person who was known to come under the spell of the goddess Kali (Hindu deity symbolizing the power of nature). The information gave me a shock and made me confused. Till then we had conceived the goddess mother Kali, as the symbolic representation of the great power of nature that maintains the dynamic harmony in matter and living beings alike of the infinite expanse of the Universe. She is present in all creation including human beings. We are unaware of this truth due to the veil of ignorance that enshrouds our minds through cycles of birth and rebirths. So it is said that whenever this veil is lifted she awakens within us. Therefore, it appeared incongruous and untenable to say that mother Kali had cast a spell on a person. Nevertheless, the person to whom we were taken was a middle-aged lady. Although she looked frail, an aura of piousness radiated from her. Devotees called her Ma (mother). There were quite a few devotees sitting in the room. Our colleague introduced us to the Ma and we lost no time in placing our queries to her. One of the devotees informed us that she answers queries only when she goes into a state of trance after a spell. In the corner of the room stood a beautiful image of the mother Kali decked in garlands. The smoke rolling out of the incense sticks filled the room with a divine smell. Ma was now ready to start the Puja (worship). Even before the Puja actually commenced, the Ma shot out of her seat as if struck by lightning and started rolling on the ground. Her body and limbs contorted due to some unknown cause. “Ma Kali has arrived”, whispered the devotees sitting in the room in unison. Many asked her for the solutions to their problems most of which were related to ailments or material affairs. After answering a few of them she glared at me as if in anger and asked me to tell her what I wanted to know. I asked how could I realize God. She laughed and said, “I think you know it, isn’t it?” I replied that why should I ask if it was known to me. She said, “Recite the name of your deity.” I said that I had no interest in it. She halted for a moment and then said, “So you want my favours? Come closer”. With these words she lifted her hand in a gesture of assurance, expecting me to come forward. Without moving I simply replied, “Ma, if you want to shower your favours, why don’t you do so on the suffering and downtrodden millions of this world. Why only me?” As soon as I uttered these words, she became furious and started to shake violently. Then she sat down and dozed. We left silently. In my mind the question arose – who was that mother Kali and what relation, if any, was there between spirituality and the spell that we just witnessed? Whatever the relation, I had no inclination to visit that place again.
This way our encounters with holy men failed to bring us any closer to our objective though it gave us a certain amount of thrill. The secret of confronting the evil within us remained yet unknown. Moreover, the inspiration to accept any of them as guru did not blossom within our minds, as none could instill in us that sense of pure importance for them which would make us lay down at their feet in total submission. Such was our mental state when late Uma Saha, a colleague, expressed her desire to take us to her gurudev. He was Sri Madhab, a family man and father of a girl. He resided in an old rented accommodation inside a narrow lane in Maniktala (a place in north Calcutta). One of the rooms in that house was known as the Bhajan Ghar (hymnal room). It was here that Sri Madhab rendered simple, spontaneous and universal solutions to all problems – spiritual and physical. He distributed medicine for various ailments. Spiritual discussions were also held on the roof of the house once a week. Our colleague further informed us that from household chores to daily market, he did everything himself. He even relaxed with a game of cards sometimes. Sri Madhab did not match the image of great and holy men that has been formed in our minds by reading biographies and meeting some of these people in person. As such, we did not feel inspired to meet him.
Hereafter some incidents, related to our thirst for the knowledge of the divine, occurred in quick succession. As a result, on the 11th. September 1977, my friend, Sitangshu Ghosh, and I found us, somewhat dramatically, in the courtyard of Sri Madhab. We waited in the lobby while the people waiting in queue went inside the Bhajan Ghar one by one to meet him. Most of these people came there for the medicine. Some had come to seek solution to worldly problems. Once it occurred to me that this might not be the right situation to present a spiritual query. So probably I should go back. Next moment I thought that I should at least meet him since I had gone there. In course of time we were also called inside. Sri Madhab was sitting alone inside the room. As my glance fell on him, I was momentarily distracted. Next I sat down in front of him and said, “Today you are busy listening to worldly problems. I shall meet you some other day to discuss some spiritual queries.” He smiled and replied, “ Yes, I think that is better. Every Monday spiritual discussions are held. Come, you will like it.” I touched his feet and took leave. That day Sri Madhab’s words had an intimate and personal touch that drew me with a strong magnetic attraction. The next Monday found me present in the evening discussion session at No. 12, Haji Jakeria Lane (Sri Madhab’s residence). The roof of the single-storied house was permanently covered with tarpaulin. A colored cloth mat was spread on the floor. I took my seat carefully at some distance from Sri Madhab so as not to disturb the listeners. Shortly, quite a few people gathered to join the discussion. Sri Madhab answered their queries in simple words and with such spontaneity that I gradually became immersed in untold joy. The flow of words quenched my thirst like the divine nectar. His explanations were founded on universality, logic and scientific impersonality and thus were immediately acceptable. I was surprised to find most of my queries automatically answered after attending only a few weeks of discussion in succession. Not only this but in course of time my mind used to be drawn inwards with the spoken words of Sri Madhab whenever I listened to his spiritual discussions. My entire being used to get immersed in the sound of his words. The surroundings, the people around me, my home everything would gradually recede from my mind. Sometime even the sound of Sri Madhab’s words would fade away, leaving me submerged in the joy of transcendental perception. Just like that feeling of joy that touched me standing alone in that field while the rain drenched my entire self – the feeling in search of which I ran relentlessly from temples to mosques and holy men. Sitting at the feet of Sri Madhab I lost my self to retrieve that feeling of joy from the words that flowed like the divine nectar. Those delightful moments gradually seeped into me in a slow vibrating rhythm. During those days, I used to be always surrounded by the thought of Sri Madhab. His discussions, his voice, his looks and above all the touch of his feet kept me inspired all through the day. To all those I met I used to tell about him. After office hours, a few of us used to invariably meet and discuss about Sri Madhab. Time used to fly by without our knowledge. One by one the participants in our daily discussion increased. Sri Madhab named our endeavor, ‘The Mission for Eliminating Superstition’. It was true that we ourselves were influenced by many superstitious beliefs, as also the people attending our discussions who came from various religious and social sectors harbouring deep-rooted superstitions and mindsets. Sri Madhab’s christening of our mission, therefore, injected a new enthusiasm in us and we put all our energy in eliminating superstitions and rigid conventions in the light of Sri Madhab’s thoughts. We always remained alert and tried to ensure that his instructions were reflected in our practises. As a result our characters underwent a continuous process of cleansing. Adverse traits were gradually being replaced with a feeling of bliss and inwardness. Attracted by our dedication many thronged around us offering us assistance. They used to find satisfaction in rendering advices.
It is an old adage that gurus are found in millions while a true disciple is hard to find. Sri Madhab said that in our life we often come across confirmation to this fact. Most people want to be a guru, meaning that they want importance from others, always seeking opportunity to express opinions and sermonize. But it is difficult indeed to find a good listener. During discussions at Entally there were many instances that established this truth. The first instance that comes to my mind is that of Aloke Sen. Mr. Sen had been pursuing the religious path since a long time. Moreover his uncle was a Maharaj (monk) at Belur Math (a famous temple in Calcutta, established by Swami Vivekananda, a disciple of Sri Ramakrishna). If Aloke Sen was present, he never allowed anybody else to speak. He often used to indicate that it was useless for us to try to seek divine realization. According to him a family man running to his work everyday can never know God. Even Sri Ramkrishna had told this repeatedly. He had said unless one denounces kamini and kanchan one cannot know Him. Not only that but the money which we must use in order to live, was denounced by him showing it to be as useless as soil. Hence, Aloke-babu (Bengali custom of calling a person) advised that we must leave our family immediately and adopt monk-hood (life of an ascetic denouncing family) if we were so keen to know God. I argued and told Alokebabu that it appeared that the words of Sri Ramkrishna were not clearly understood by him. I remember Sri Madhab had once told in the course of a discussion, “Sri Ramkrishna had asked to denounce kamini and kanchan. Do you know what is the meaning of kamini? Can your own mother, wife, aunt, sister with whom you run a family be ever called kamini? Then who is kamini? She is none other than the woman who causes your downfall by inciting your baser impulses. Next what is meant by kanchan? Is it logical that the money earned through honest work in order to meet the necessities of life can ever be termed kanchan? Never. It is the money earned through dishonest means without commensurate labor used to satisfy greed and lust that is called kanchan. Hence, it is obvious that unless one denounces kamini and kanchan one cannot even take a single step towards the divine path, let alone realization of the divine”. Next the question arises, then why did Sri Ramakrishna throw both the money and the soil into the Ganges? What did he mean by that? Sri Madhab explained, “Sri Ramkrishna often spoke metaphorically in a transcendental state (Bhava). As such, his simple statements carried deep inner meanings and eternal truth. In order to understand one must not interpret his words literally, but must think deeply. What is after all soil and money? Soil is the mother earth – the source of all wealth while money is the exchange value of wealth. Hence, money is the means to determine the value of wealth. By holding money and soil together, Sri Ramkrishna showed their equivalence or inseparability and by throwing them together into the Ganges (deemed holy) he taught mankind to use both of them with reverence.” The next question follows that if this is true then why Sri Ramakrishna’s hand contorted when Naren (nick name of Swami Vivekananda) hid money under his mattress? Madhab smiled and said, “Many of you may know that Sri Ramakrishna was paid wages for being a priest in the temple of Ma Bhavatarini (The nineteenth century temple of Goddess Kali in Dakshineswar in Calcutta). But his hand never did tremble or contort while taking that money. Moreover, he also purchased golden bangles for Sri Sarada Ma (his wife) out of his salary. What was the lesson that he wanted to convey? The money earned through honest labor can never be an obstacle to the divine path. On the other hand the seeker of divine knowledge should definitely shudder at touching ill-gotten money. It is quite clear, therefore, that Sri Ramkrishna had asked all persons, whether a family man or a sage to denounce kamini and kanchan meaning excessive desire and consumption.” I have no hesitation in stating that those of us, who are fortunate enough to get the company of Sri Madhab, are becoming conscious and analytic of our actions and thoughts. We are becoming used to the habit of consuming only that, which seems necessary for us through self-analysis. Under the influence of Sri Madhab’s words, the deterministic nature of the mind that remains always busy in materialistic decision-making, is gradually being drawn into the joy of a different kind of thought – the thought of truth and divine knowledge. What else is true Sadhana (religious practice for reaching divine realization) but this continuous process of cleansing while leading a normal family life? The spontaneous discussion sessions are the direct outcome of this Sadhana and will be successful when the light of knowledge will dawn through the practice of reformed habits. Aloke-babu did not protest. Instead he said that it was true that such logical explanation of Sri Ramakrishna’s words based on scientific (objective) analysis could indeed help mankind along the divine path.
Sri Madhab advises us to learn the ways of properly managing our own small family by carrying out our duties. We have duties to our parents, who have shown us the light of the day, our wife, children, brothers and sisters, who are dependent on us, to our neighbors, holy men, the sick and the helpless. We must get into the habit of carrying out our duties to all of them in proportion to our means. The company of holy men shows us the way to fulfill these obligations. Sri Madhab explained the true meaning of ‘Sadhu Sanga’. “ If the company of a person invokes inspiration of the Truth in you, he is a holy man for you, notwithstanding his or her social standings or attire.” I have stated earlier that the companionship of Sri Madhab and his words had cast a deep influence over me from the start. It awakened a compelling desire to analyze and transform myself and triggered off a process of self-reformation. Gradually our mind lost its traditional habits and modes of thinking and started to get immersed in the thoughts of the divine.
Such is the speciality of the words of Sri Madhab that it overpowers logic and touches the deeper recesses of the soul. Merely following his words awakens the inspiration for self-reformation. Not only did he offer simple and pragmatic explanation to difficult and mysterious languages of scriptures of all present-day religious practices, but he also has thrown light on the manner in which the instructions laid out in them should be followed. All mankind, monks and family men alike, can easily proceed towards acquiring the knowledge of the divine by following the simple methods stated by him.
In course of discussions, Sri Madhab had often said that every individual in this world is like Arjun (one of the key characters in the Indian epic Mahabharata, who received divine inspiration to take up arms against the evil forces). He is thus invoking the spirit of Arjun in mankind by the divine power of his words. Constantly he is kindling the fire of Arjun in us inspiring us to engage in the battle against the forces of inhumanity and re-establish the true religion of mankind- the universal religion of humanity. His clarion call rings out to the universal mankind,“ You are destined to fight. So, what are you waiting for? Rise, now is the time. What fear do you have when the divine consciousness is there to guide you as your guru?” My entire being vibrates in tune with the ringing of his voice and every pore of my body tingles in divine harmony. Gradually my inner self spread out its petals to receive the divine ecstasy showered by the infinite kindness of guru, like that day when standing in the middle of that vast field the rain kept falling on me soaking my entire self immersing me in an ocean of joy. In my mind’s eye I perceived the vision of millions of this world holding the shining bow of Arjuna in their hands- their eyes glinting in a determination to win. As if the accumulated vital force in mankind has assumed its true indomitable nature to end the reign of inhumanity and reinstate himself to his true religion. I was engrossed in that vision of the much-desired internal war. Consciousness slipped away giving place to a feeling of ecstasy. For a moment I felt that since time immemorial I have remained immersed in this ocean of joy sitting at Sri Madhab’s feet and guided by his instruction have taken up the shining bow of Sri guru’s words down the ages.